She Wonders

January 14, 2018

Holding herself tightly
Wrapped in memories
She wonders
Those times spent together
Fractions of moments
Words and laughter shared
Fleeting glances
Did they really happen as she recollects
Or was the meaning something else
Did she imagine what wasn’t there?
Or was it something after all
Words on her lips
She dare not say
Questions linger
She dare not ask
Instead she wonders
Wrapping herself in the questions
Locked within her head

Barbara M © January 2018

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Two steps forward

One step back

Never getting ahead

To where I’m meant to be

Too few hours

Not enough days

Foggy muddled brain

Can’t make sense

Of the clutter in my head

A pain that will not cease

Slows my already arduous steps

Two steps forward

Sometimes two steps back

Stuck in place

Progression out of reach

Thoughts out of focus

Unsure of what is next

Two steps forward

One step back

 

Barbara M © January 2018

Fractured

December 26, 2017

The aching and the hurt
A never ending pain
From dawn to dusk
Throughout the night
And at the start of each new day
Unfocused and cloudy of thought
Darkness invades where once was light
Wellness but a distant memory
Fractured she has become
With no escape in sight
Tears freely falling
They bring no relief
Nor wash away the pain
Weary from it all
She longs for peace
And clarity of mind
Praying for an end
To her fractured being

Barbara M © December 2017

On the Outside Looking In

August 30, 2017

Nose pressed up against the window panes
On the outside looking in
Watching the happenings
Unfold before her eyes
Wanting to join
And blend in with all the others
Seeking a path that is barrier free
She almost makes it
Until something holds her back
Like sand through an hourglass
They escape her reach
And she continues to watch
On the outside looking in

Barbara M © August 2017

Masked

July 13, 2017

Shutting out the clutter

Silencing the sounds

That reverberate all around

Barely an echo to be heard

But for the whispers that

Live within her soul

Cocooning herself

She dons a mask

Her true self hidden

From the outside world

Save for so very, very few

Embracing the stillness and quiet

Mask firmly in place

She goes about her days

With a purpose in her steps

And peace within her being

 

Barbara M© July 2017

Daddy’s Girl

June 18, 2017

Her little hand fit snugly in his
He never let her go
Sliding and gliding around the ice
The coldness mattered not
Bundled in her red snowsuit
Her rosy cheeks and red nose
Peeking out above her scarf
Round and round the ice they skated
When her little legs tired he picked her up
And continued to skate with her in his arms
Because he knew she loved it so

The toboggan flew over
The frozen hill laden with snow
Faster and faster over the bumps and crevices
All the way down till coming to a stop
Again, again she chanted
And no matter how tired he might have been
He would never say no
And together they would climb back to the top
She’d jump up front and he behind
And off again they would go
One more time, or three or four, just for her

Summer picnics and Sunday drives
Stopping to feed the ducks in High Park
Riding the merry-go-round and pushing her high on the swings
Till she thought she would reach the clouds
A multitude of activities of family time spent
Even when there weren’t enough hours in the day
Vacations spent camping, sleeping in a tent
Teaching her to swim in the big lake
Until she had no fear and would jump freely off the dock
Nightly campfires toasting marshmallows
And trying to capture fireflies

Listening to him play his harmonica at all the family parties
Tapping her feet and clapping her hands, she always wanted more
Dancing with him as he taught her to do the Newfie Jig
Curled up in his lap watching TV
Fresh from her bath wanting to stay up just a little bit longer
Reading her a bedtime story
Cinderella, Peter Pan, Mother Goose
It mattered not, he read them all
For all of these reasons and so many, many more
From the day I was born until the day he died and beyond
I will always and forever be a Daddy’s girl

Barbara M © June 2017

Yet to be…

June 11, 2017

Mystical notions dwelled within her mind
Like pieces in a dream
They enveloped her
A puzzle yet to be solved
Secrets yet to be revealed
Stories yet to be written
Memories yet to be made
So many questions
Uncertainties unknown
Longing for answers
Searching for the key
Could she, would she
Take a chance
On what was yet to be?

Barbara M © June 2017

With Closed Eyes…

June 6, 2017


Even with eyes that were closed
Her heart could see
Beyond what it felt
Visions of two as one
Souls entwined, barely moving
Holding her as no other had before
Yearning senses awakening her passion
That had long lain asleep
Reigniting memories
Forgotten in a time and place long past
Longing to feel again
The magic of love
Needing to believe
Wanting to trust
In her heart that saw
Even with eyes that were closed

Barbara M © June 2017

Breaking the Chain

May 18, 2017

Like a new dawn born

Freedom within her grasp

She awoke from the dream

That had cloistered her reality

She set forth on a clear path

Reclaiming the life she had put aside

While in the grasp of his obsession

The chain finally broken

The sun shining through once clouded skies

She was free

Barbara M © May 2017

Chasing Rainbows

February 21, 2017

From a faraway place
In the daydreams of her mind
A little girl dances
Running freely through the fields
Unencumbered by details and commitments
Free to be
Free to soar
Unfettered by the day to day tasks
That rule her adult self
Believing in her abilities
Imagining herself anything she wants to be
Before the self-doubt and limitations
Derail the dreams of what she once believed
Sunshine peeping through the clouds
After an early morning rain
Slowly and surely the little girl inside
Peels away the layers
Setting free her adult being
Making her realize
The time has come for her to go
To live out her dreams
And start chasing rainbows

Barbara M © February 2017